Attention Telemarketers – it’s not 1986 anymore

Posted: April 11, 2011 in Rant

What a bunch of clowns.

I stick telemarketers into two categories:
1. Giant company who outsources the cold calls overseas (occasionally they keep it in North America, but most of them are in India, who’s kidding who?)
2. Small ma and pop operation that does ducts, painting, driveways, windows, etc.

Both categories are subsets of a main category – idiots.

Let’s address No.2 because that’s the easier one. If I want my ducts cleaned I will Google it. When I Google it, I will find several duct companies in my area. I will also see some relevant ads. I usually settle on one of the first three that I click. Bam, you have a sale.

If you cold call me, all you do is remind me that I need it done and that – hey, I’d better check online for someone who will take care of it for me. You see, nobody does business through cold-calling anymore. That worked in the 80’s, but today you are best to spend two bucks an hour on Google Ad Words. I guarantee you that if you spend $40 in online advertising each day, you will have to shut off the ads by the end of the month, because your schedule will be full. Forty bucks. Or, you can spend gawd knows how much on cold callers and annoy people, and maybe after 1000 calls over the course of the month you get 10 appointments.

You see – this is why you fail at life at your business. Oh sure, business may be doing okay and it may pay the bills – but can you see it helping you retire within 10 years? No? Then you’re a failure. Screw the cold calls, advertise online, and you can sell your business in five years and live it up in the Bahamas.

Now let’s address No.1. Banks, telecom companies…wake up! You are succeeding because you are already huge, but if you were just starting out – you would fail using this strategy. Spend your money by advertising online. We don’t want your phone calls. And you leave yourself at the mercy of the politeness of a call center. It doesn’t always work out for you.

Who makes these decisions, anyway? I bet you he (or she) is 60. That would put them at around 35 in the mid-80s when cold calling worked. They think it still does. Dinosaurs.

If a telemarketer calls you, do what I do – tell them that if you wanted their services/products, you would look online for it. Tell them it’s 2011 and cold calling doesn’t work anymore – advertise online.

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