So the phone rings while I’m working out and I drop everything to answer it before the second ring because my little girl is napping. Of course, there is no response to my “Hello” after 1…2…3…
We all know what the means. Telemarketer. (As an aside I am on the National Do Not Call List, but whatever).
Anyway, pissed off that a) my workout has been interrupted and b) my baby may wake up, I angrily say:
“F*** you.” and hang up.
The phone immediately rings again and when I answer it the voice on the other end says “F*** you.”
I hang up. Rings again, I answer because – the baby is sleeping. I can’t ignore this phone.
“F*** you.” says the gentleman’s voice. I hang up.
Phone rings again.
Now I have a pretty clear idea that this is not going to stop and I’m in for gawd knows how many rings that could wake up my daughter. So this time I answer:
“What would you like? What is so important to you that you have to wake up my baby with multiple phone calls, please tell me this amazing deal that you have because I’m dying to know.”
I spoke a lot more than that, not giving him a chance to speak, but that was the gist of it. Then I let him speak. He went into “telemarketer-speak”. You know how in many businesses they have their own words/phrases/descriptions? Well, he used one of theirs. “You abused first, you abused first!”
Yes yes, I don’t give a shit, get to the point. I’m thinking.
“Yep, I abused first. I’m sorry. Please tell me this great deal, I’ll hear you out now.” I always take the shortest route to less hassle.
So what does the dummy do? He goes into his sales pitch. He’s calling on behalf of Bell, Canada. He started talking about the offer. What. A. Clown. Telling me who his employer is? Had I chosen to make a big deal of it, I’m sure I could have accepted his offer, had him take down all my information, and then once the proof is there…file a complaint. Dumb.
Anyway, I told him about my issues with Bell and how I’m not going back.
Thought it was an interesting story. He had an Indian accent, so the call center was probably overseas – or perhaps I’m jumping the gun, but it makes sense to me. The big companies always outsource.
Here’s a newsflash to the dinosaur companies who only succeed today because they are too big to fail but they would never succeed doing what they are doing if they just start out: Cold Calling does not work. Spend your money on Internet advertising. That is how we do things in 2011. This is not 1987. Cold Calls are useless.